Even though my relationship with ZY wasn't exactly healthy, I really do miss the way I was loved by someone. Even though he was overprotective and jealous sometimes, at least then, I knew that someone loved me. I asked him not to do certain things, and although that was wrong of me, he still did what I asked anyway.
Just now Wee Theng called me and asked me if I was okay with Justin going for night cycling. He said he didn't want us to end up arguing about it.
It's definitely thoughtful of him, but even if we did end up arguing, it's not his fault anyway. Justin's free to do what he wants. He's free to spend it with other girls if he wants. But even say I say this, what sort of relationship would that be? Might as well be single and he'll be free to do anything that he wants.
What's the point of "squeezing me" into his schedule when I probably do nothing for him? Concentrating on studies gives him good grades, busying himself with being hall president gives him a good resume. Me? What do I do? Nothing. I offer no tangible benefits. Maybe if my parents were some rich and wealthy CEOs or what, that would probably give him a reason to date me because of the possible connections. But they are not. He probably sees it that way which is why I rank lowly on his list.
When people ask me how's Justin and I, I'll just shrug my shoulders and say, "Like that lor". Because honestly I really don't know what to say. We're doing great? No we're not. We're not doing great. We're not ok. We are not ok.
This relationship, honestly, is probably getting nowhere. I don't think we will last. If we're lucky, maybe one year. And that constitutes us not seeing each other like a regular couple and just doing our own things and just being held together by the boyfriend/girlfriend label.
I read this off some girl's lj & like sigh I don't know, I'm just feeling quite :C right now. At least Amelynn gets me. Thanks so much for listening babe. {: I need to find some way to stop crying, I really do. I'm crying over so many things & my eyes hurt so much :C Okay I posted like so much today, I shall stop alreadyy & pluzzz it's getting late? Uh huh. Yup. Oh yeah & thanks for msging.
ifonlyyouknew.. :C
xx
"Cuz you leave me speechless, when you talk to me."
9:18 PM
9:18 PM
Keisha Garnell. I like HAMS & paperbagz. I'm shy & weird but if you know me I'm really crazy & noisy. I'm also a DramaMama, so accept me for who I am, teeheexx